What exactly do you do?

I write for a living. For businesses. So naturally my ear is attuned to copy, especially when it’s intended to draw readers into learning more about a company.

Recently I ran across several examples of epic fail.

Below are word-for-word descriptions from actual websites (with original typos and grammar glitches).

BTW: I still don’t know exactly what these companies do.

• We at [company name] earned vertical niches in global industry through our ability to respond to our clients with custom solutions that resolve issues rather than conceal conceptual and architectural flaws with boiler-plate responses that never quite fit the client’s need. Capability, ingenuity, response, and a commitment to excellence are the foundation of every [company name] relationship.
  
• [Company name]is the business improvement company that helps you motivate the people who drive your business. We providing tailored solutions that help you get the most out of your most valuable assets: your people.
  
• For companies seeking specific bio-based solutions, we orchestrate the disparate activities that facilitate technology development in order to deliver a customized solution. Specifically, we work hand-in-hand with you to identify relevant technology and determine its technical feasibility. If technical feasibility is promising, we will collaborate to develop, scale-up and deliver a de-risked commercially-viable technology package customized to your precise needs.

A Google search of “customized solutions” turned up 2,370,000 results. In 0.40 seconds

Hard to believe there’s that degree of customization among companies that lack the creativity to simply explain who they are and what they do.

You don't have to be a writer to recognize lazy writing -- or to shudder at what this implies for the brand or the business.

To boldly go

I never knew space could be so much fun. Or Twitter. Or following tweets from space.

Even William Shatner can’t resist.

Here’s his exchange yesterday with Chris Hadfield, currently in orbit on the International Space Station:

From @WilliamShatner: "@Cmdr_Hadfield Are you tweeting from space? MBB"
‏From @Cmdr_Hadfield: "@WilliamShatner Yes, Standard Orbit, Captain. And we're detecting signs of life on the surface."

Within 24 hours, that exchange was retweeted 4,191 times.

Even more amazing than this life-imitating-art-imitating life scenario between Star Trek’s Captain Kirk and the soon-to-be Commander of Expedition 35 are the photos Hadfield posts to Twitter from 240 miles above earth.

Here are a few of my faves:

• "These mountains near Sochi, Russia remind me somehow of corduroy pillows." pic.twitter.com/O6s2KRzZ 
• "Great Belt Bridge, Denmark, connecting Zealand and Fyn. Straight lines stand out against nature when viewed from space." pic.twitter.com/PyCYt2jp 
• "Like a Hole Punch - confetti of farms using central irrigation in the American Southwest. Jan 2, 2013." pic.twitter.com/LRB9KI6T 
• "Mojave Desert and the lake beds of Edwards AFB where I attended test Pilot School, and where the Shuttle first landed." pic.twitter.com/KCqt6iIn 
• "A view of the Suez Canal, as it opens into the Mediterranean. A great mix of nature and powerful human engineering." pic.twitter.com/asqfHKkn

There’s much more to see and read on Twitter.com/Cmdr_Hadfield

Or on the NASA/ISS or Canadian Space Agency sites.

If you aren't able "To boldly go where no man has gone before," as least you can read the tweets.

Have a cow

What do you buy for the person who has everything? Or who returns every gift received. Or who is just impossible to please.

Instead of giving them something to eat, wear, watch, play with, or put on a shelf, how about something that should make them feel good while doing good.

Like a cow. A goat. Honey bees.

Now that gift-giving season is upon us, I decided to shun the madness of malls and retailers who started Black Friday during Thanksgiving dinner.

This year, I shopped at Oxfam America Unwrapped. I could just as easily have gone to Heifer International or Give a Goat.

All of them offer ways to give a gift that helps to end poverty and contribute to sustainability in places near and far.

I had the fun of trying to decide whether to buy a “hill of beans” for a subsistence farmer or honey bees for rural farmers. For someone else, it was a tough decision between a goat that thrives in tough environments or helping to start a village savings group.

Beyond animals and implements for better life in remote villages, there are many other compassionate charities that offer the gift of gift-giving to donors:

• Seva – Sanskrit for selfless service – focuses on the prevention of blindness around the world and on Native American community health. Gifts range from restoring sight through cataract surgery to honoring Native elders to training female health care workers. 
  
• Rescue Gifts touts “holiday gifts that save lives.” Its best-selling gifts are warm blankets that go to displaced families and maternal health care for women living in a crisis zone with few, if any, medical facilities.
  
• Charity Gift Market allows you to buy real goods that you can give to your loved ones to use or wear. The website provides “socially conscious shoppers with a marketplace of goods created and produced by charities, with all profit returning to the charity to support their work.”

Gift-giving in this fashion – a symbolic gift or one that benefits a charity – seems on the rise. At least that’s the impression I get from the many alternatives found through my web searches. One caveat: always check out the charity before you decide to “buy.” CharityWatch is a good place to start.

Happier shopping…and the happiest of holidays, no matter which ones you celebrate.

Look, up in the sky!

It’s no bird. It’s no plane. It’s...it's…the International Space Station.

And it's speeding over my house.

In the pre-dawn sky, the space station looks about three times the size and brilliance of any planet; its speed faster than any airplane. NASA says it's the third brightest object in the sky, after the sun and moon. 

You may not be able to see Russia from your house, but you can certainly see the International Space Station. That’s because NASA will tell you exactly when, where, and for how long it will appear in your neighborhood.

With its Spot the Station program, you can sign up for free text or email alerts that arrive a few hours before the space station passes over your house. 

I tried it out Saturday morning, having received a NASA alert Friday night. I stumbled out of bed just after 5:00 and parked myself in the driveway. I bundled a winter coat over my jammies and stared into the darkness.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Sore neck. Nothing.

Then, there it was! At exactly 5:33 AM. Appearing in the western sky. Disappearing to the southeast. Visible for four minutes. Just like NASA said.

More than 200 miles above Earth, a space station crew of six men were carrying out Expedition 34, which began November 18 and will end March 15.

On the ground, it was cold, dark, and quiet. I waved and went back to bed, smiling to myself.

There are many ways to engage with the International Space Station. Visit its website for video and audio feeds, to follow the astronauts on Twitter and other social media sites, find educational resources, and play the interactive games.

Space may be the final frontier, but NASA is doing a great job of bringing it to your home and into your living room.