You gotta laugh

I have reached full saturation with negative, combative, downright nasty news. I can no longer stand to listen to political commentary. I am beyond disappointed with all the politicians, actors, and athletes who are being investigated, charged, and convicted of wrongdoing. I am disheartened with all the violence and disrespect against anyone considered different.

Life is too short, and too amazing, for all that. And so I am taking a holiday from the nastiness and looking for laughter.

Some of the comedy bits that have made me laugh lately include these:

From the late John Pinette: 
On working with a trainer at the gym to lose weight:

“Then he says to me, ‘Give me a situp.’ I said, ‘Oh, Nay Nay!’ I don't do ‘Ups.’ I told him that when I signed up. I don't do ‘Ups’. I do ‘Downs.’ Sit down, lay down, Black-Jack I'll double-down...Give me a cheeseburger I'll wolf it down. Put on a little music, I'll boogie down. But I don't do ‘Ups.’ Ups defy gravity...Gravity is a law...I obey the law.”

From the late Mitch Hedberg:
“One time I had a Jack and Coke and it had a lime in it. And I saw that the lime was floating. That’s good news, man. Next time I’m on a boat and it capsizes, I will reach for a lime. I’ll be water skiing without a life preserver on and people will say, ‘What the hell?’ And I will pull out a lime. And a lemon, too. I’m saved by the buoyancy of citrus.”

“I bought a house. I bought a two-bedroom house. But it’s up to me how many bedrooms there are though, isn’t it. This bedroom has an oven in it. This bedroom has a lot of people sitting around watching TV. This bedroom is AKA a hallway. This bedroom is over in that guy’s house. ‘Sir, you have one of my bedrooms. Stay out.’ I’ve got a king-size bed. I don’t know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he’d be comfortable. ‘Oh, you’re a king you say, well you won’t believe what I have in store for you. It’s for your exact specifications.’ When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-size bed and wondered where my brother was.”

From still-alive-and-well Kevin Meaney:

“We couldn't wear tight pants growing up in my family. ‘You're not wearing those tight pants out, Mister. Put your big pants on. Going outside with tight pants on. We’re big pants people. Get upstairs to your room and put your big pants on. The Loferman’s are coming over and you're wearing tight pants. Why? Your father doesn't wear tight pants.”

From sometime-local-resident and always a celebrity Wanda Sykes: 

“We all really should be organ donors. I mean, c’mon why are you holding on to it? You’re dead. Give it up. Let somebody else use it. Although, I hope whoever gets my liver, God bless ‘em. There aint gonna be much left on it. But I don’t understand why people don’t want to give. Some people say, ‘Well, it’s my religion.’ …You scared when you get to heaven your God gonna be like, ‘Where the hell are your eyes? Ain’t this a bitch. You up here with empty eye sockets. Where are your eyes? You can’t even see all this pretty shit I got up here for you.’”

So forgo the news and look for laughs. At least until the elections are over. If there's something we all could use more of, it's laughter in our lives.

What makes you laugh out loud?

Even before Saturday’s storm brought “much of the East Coast to a standstill,” as the headlines screamed, my getaway was planned.

It's an annual event scheduled for the short, dark, cold days of winter. The kind of days, and nights, where sheltering indoors seems preferable to venturing into the world. Too many days of this kind, with or without snow, and I begin to get cabin fever. I’m not the only one.

Years ago, after the world survived the previously unknowable outcome of Y2K, popular media began to focus on “Best of" lists of the previous millennium. Best movies, best songs, best films, well, you get the idea. A group of friends decided comedy was getting short shrift. Why not get together and devote a night to things that made us laugh. Timing was perfect, because it was winter, and dreary, and we all had cabin fever.

And so Cabin Fever Comedy was born. The participants are a small group of creative types, mostly in the video industry, who share clips, skits, and drinks (lots and lots of drinks). We tend to take over a quaint and proper B&B for the night, dragging in cables and equipment and media storage devices.

My biggest question each year, as I prepare, is this: What made me laugh in the past year? Deciding what was really funny is harder than you might expect. And with today’s political shenanigans, and volatile financial markets, I haven’t had a good laugh in a while.

I often find things amusing. Or clever. There are TV shows I enjoy, in which there are funny actors. And there are videos that make me smile. But what I’m really looking for are things that make me laugh. Out loud. And that have a good chance of making others laugh, too.

Occasionally, Cabin Fever Comedy presentations share visual tricks or innovations in the video trade. Or we watch really beautiful footage, while we “Ooh” and “Ahh.” But nothing says comedy like a loud, deep belly laugh. And those are hard to come by.

So I open the question to you, dear readers, hoping to crowdsource a little comedy. Things on kittens, practical jokes, and pratfalls won’t cut it. Nor will clips of late night talk shows or Saturday Night Live – been there, done that.

Got anything else that made you hold your sides, brought tears to your eyes, and had you begging for mercy so you could catch your breath?

I sincerely hope that you have…and will share. Cabin Fever Comedy is six weeks away, and counting.